And then my friend who offered investment cash a few weeks ago called out of the blue. I told her about it and she got super excited.
Soul of mine. What to do?
This is how Ziggy spent last evening after the AC guy left. She is clearly not traumatized by use of playpen and mat.
Tonight she just rousted me with frantic barking. I looked out the window to see a cat stalking the chicken pen. I ran out, it ran away, the chickens are safe, Ziggy saved the day.
A cat wouldn't take on my chickens in daylight, but after dark when they're asleep it could do some real damage.
I wish they could be in the backyard, patrolled by Catahooligan. Maybe someday.
I carry stress in my body and sometimes my body says fuck that.
So tomorrow I have an appointment for a massage and next week to start Rolfing.
I'm in considerable pain and I need to work through it. Starting yoga practice and making sure to walk the dog.
I've long abused my body and I'm going to take the opportunity now to unravel some damage. I take some inspiration from prisoners who get really buff in lockup. Take advantage of where you are. (And yes I'm still kind of obsessed with a prisoner I recently met but that's another story altogether that I can't go into here.)
I'm going to get my goddamn house in order and be ready for what comes next.
When I announced that I was leaving a teaching position where I had been several years and that I had deeply loved, another teacher said "noooo! We are losing our warrior."
The three adult jobs I have most loved have been all about the warrioring. I'm good in battle. I'm not so good in perpetuation of status quo or in mandatory mediocrity. It's not that those things aren't important. They are. It's just that I have other skills.
Yesterday I caught video of myself while setting up a home video system (sort of). I look absolutely miserable. My body is showing this misery with my constant scowl, my stiff joints, my swelling as though on steroids. I look so unattractive with dull hair and skin. I don't care about cultural attractiveness, but what I mean is the obvious disconnect between my current life and what fulfills me and how I must constantly minimize myself to be less threatening.
Let them feel threatened.
And let me find my destiny because it is not like this.
So I need to focus on my health and paying attention to other opportunities.